Vancouver Dating Blog: Night at the Drive-In with Trucker Joe
The other day I was looking at this warning label on a shirt and it said Dry Clean Only which is fun because I immediately washed it anyway (who can even afford dry cleaning?!? and meh it turned out fine). But it got me thinking that people should come with warning labels, and if they did I think mine would say the following:
Respond to text messages immediately.
Does not respond well to being turned down for plans (even if you have a good reason)
Handle with care
Or something like that, you get the idea.
Things with Trucker Joe have been going well, or as well as can be when you've gone on 5 dates and had only one super hot make-out session. The lack of physical intimacy did bother me in some ways but more so simply because I couldn't figure it out. With every date we went on that didn't end in a kiss, I couldn't help but feeling rejected. But then I started to think about who was always the first to contact (him) and who was always making the dates (him) and I wondered if it's possible that he was hesitant because I seemed hesitant?
I was out for a coffee with a friend today and I mentioned this theory, and I also mentioned that this week he had a 4 day weekend taking place on the actual weekend.
"So..." she said, "Why don't you just ask him out this time?"
And as much as I don't like to be vulnerable, it sounded like a great idea (why hadn't I thought of that?!). That said, I couldn't very well ask him on a date and then be like so, uh...we're hanging out at your place right? I had to come up with a date night idea, a date night idea that would be appropriate for a seventh date, and would also be conducive to getting it on after. And thus, the idea for going to a drive in was born.
Reasons the Drive In would be perfect:
1. It's in the city he lives in
2. I can drive over to his place and then we could take his truck (could that BE any sexier...a summer night at the drive in, in a pickup truck??? Just Sayin')
3. After the movie we could always just go back to his place (afterall my car would be there)
5. Movies are awesome. Movies outdoors in the summer at the epitome of awesome.
6. He had actually mentioned it on our first date (finally I can score points for remembering something)
7. I would definitely get an A for effort.
I text him: Hey Trucker Joe, Hope you're having a good day. I was just wondering what you're up to on saturday?
Trucker Joe: Hey Victoria :) my day was good. I'm supposed to be playing poker but it's not for sure yet. What's up??
Me: Gotcha. Well no biggie, just thought maybe we could go to the Drive In.
Trucker Joe: Can I give you an answer Friday??? Jay is home then and I'll know for sure what his plans are. The Drive in sounds like fun :)!
Me: Sure that's fine. (very uncharacteristic of me...you know I like to have my weekends planned out well in advance and really hate the idea that a boy could screw me by being like no, sorry I can't and then not having saturday night plans...but I'm trying to be less...well...like that lol!)
So I manage to rein my impatience in and wait like a good little girl until friday rolls around. When he calls, I miss it and it goes to voicemail. The message is a bit lame at first (could he be nervous?), but then he gets to it: Saturday's a no can do. He got called in for another shift on Sunday, but he would LOVE to go the Drive In with me on Tuesday if I'm free.
I don't know why I always get so disappointed with certain things when I know (intellectually) that I absolutely shouldn't. He had a legit reason he couldn't on saturday, I'd never known him to be dishonest before, and he'd asked me to go on Tuesday night (which was now becoming our regular date night). Why was I mad?
Possible reasons I'm upset (to be discussed here and only here, as I know this is are all pretty ridiculous and I shouldn't be upset
- yes I know he can get called into work so that COULD be totally legit...but how did it go from possibly busy with poker to can't because of work??? except that if it was something like a date with another chick or something wouldn't he just stick with "poker" and like why bother making up something else...which I guess makes sunday believable
- but then I'm like okay...so he worked W, T, Fr, and he'll work Sat, & called in for Sun...so I'm like...probably not working monday then right? so why not monday night...which by the way I know is ridiculous that I'm suddenly like...!!! We have to hang out the first night he gets off work and not the second (hysterical voice)!!!...and I don't even know why I'm spinning like this...
okay actually that's not true...reasons for spinning are also several fold (TMI Warning - aside from female approaching lady time hormones)
- I'm freaking out a bit because I maybe I am actually a jealous person. I don't think I am, at least I wasn't in my long term relationship with Mega Love (actually that's not true, I think I was a bit jealous in beginning but given that we live 3 hours away from each other that seemed standard to be a little uncertain). That said, hmmm...if I think about it, I'm not jealous that Trucker Joe would be dating other people so much as I'm jealous that I might not be the most important one of the bunch if that makes sense?
- oh and for reference...no...he has not given ANY indication that he's even dating other chicks...the only cause for suspicion I have is 1. plentyoffish is terrible and tells you when someone you've messaged/has messaged you is online (if only they had a button for like...yeah...we're dating but not exclusive yet so no need to tell me he's on browsing for other chicks button). The only other indication is that we always seem to hang out on monday or tuesday night...(again hence why saturday appears so important to me)...but as I'm typing I realize how crazy this seems because duh those are likely his days off and thus has time to hang out....
- also this makes me feel a bit jilted because it's the only time I've asked him out (but like bitch! he said yes what are you so upset about?!?!)
- it also concerns me a bit how illogical/jilted I feel and thus makes me think I might be in over my head thinking I could be "not exclusive" yet actually dating (as opposed to just booty call or something) with someone...urgh...
One of the problems with online dating and certain dating sites is that they tell you when the other person is online or was last online. A great feature in theory for when you're messaging with someone brand new but not so great a feature when you're 6 dates in. Because of course he's online and of course it's totally hypocrisy to be upset that he's online because after all the only reason I can see that he's online is because I'm online and therein lies the rub. And hear me out, I know I'm being ridiculous to be upset because I wouldn't even expect him not to be dating other people (I'm dating other people when I can manage to find one interesting enough to date lol) but the thing is I just don't need the reminder all the time, ya know?
So, after all that, I texted him back. Sorry I missed your call. Tuesday sounds great :)
And then, as days normally do, Tuesday rolled around and it was time for our date. I met up with Trucker Joe and we headed to the drive-in. We park and get snacks and this lovely woman compliments my dress (which was adorable of course!) but it got me wondering about Trucker Joe and the lack of compliments and then I started thinking about the lack of touching or physical intimacy. Now, I'm not really a PDA kind of gal, in fact, it usually skeeves me out but if I'm being honest that's usually because it's happening with someone too soon. But here we were on our 6th date, and there was no hand holding, no lower back guiding to say let's go this way, no lean in and whispering something cute, no you look beautiful tonight, no I can't wait to fuck you senseless and do all kinds of ridiculously awesome and delicious things to you.
Back in the truck everything is going great though and the movie turns out to be so hilarious I have to roll my window up because I'm-concerned-my-endless-laughter-might-annoy-that-carload-next-to-us. The movie (The Other Guys) was so good, in fact, that I almost didn't notice that we were at a sexy drive-in movie theatre and not making out. The other movie that played after (Salt) unfortunately was not so good and I definitely noticed.
And yet, I said nothing. I watched that second movie like a little yellow-bellied chicken livered coward and said nothing about what was running through my mind--why aren't we making out?!?!?!
After the movie we went back to his place and he invited me inside. Was all this worry for nothing and we were about to get it the fuck on right here and now?!?!
Sorry, dear reader, that wasn't the case. We chatted and he asked about which schools I was applying to for Grad School and I told him I hadn't narrowed it down that much yet. We looked up some schools, we googled some shit, I showed him some funny videos and we had chuckles. Eventually I was like, uh yeah I gotta go and as per usual he walked me to my car and there was that goddamn hug again.
He waited for my car to start and everything to be good to go and then I drove off--confused, frustrated, sexually disappointed and without any answers as to why we were on our 6th date and though there had been one brief night of fun, we were fizzling out.
*originally published 26/08/2010