• Victoria Nachos

Vancouver Dating Blog: He Was a Dick and I Got Cocky

Things had gone well enough on our first date. He was smart as hell, if not also a bit arrogant but forgivably so. The date was relatively fun, he got a kiss, and I got to hear someone say they thought I was "The total package" and "looked even better than [my] pictures." I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to part yet, but at the very least I wanted a callback from the audition.


Before I'd even arrived at home, he texted: Had a fun time ;)


I returned the sentiment: Me too.

Your softness is very tempting ;)


It's the kind of text I wonder if I should feel more positively about but mostly it just sounds corny and gross to me. Nonetheless, I followed up:


What do you mean by softness? my lips? my personality? my body? They are intertwined.


A better response than the first message, so I continued: Nicely put.


You definitely have what I have a weakness for.


Maybe it's because it was late, or because I was bored, or because I didn't have a single booty call in my life at the moment, and that I'd had no dating during the winter semester, and only had an imaginary affair with my professor, or because I hadn't had sex since August, but for some reason I played along.

And what is that exactly?


Smart, curvy, and maybe very naughty lol.


LOL is right. Grown ass men really need to stop saying the word naughty, like forever. Tbh, the only compliment in that group that I actually cared about was the smart but still.  


Maybe very naughty?  What would make you think that? I asked.


You definitely earned a penalty. He meant for cheating at pool and I admit I was stumped at how to respond to that but he quickly followed up with another text.

Are you a good listener?


Um...depends what you're talking about I guess.


The truth of the matter was I wasn't even trying to be difficult. The things he would say next hadn't really even occurred to me that he was capable of. So when he asked are you a good listener I almost thought he was trying to figure out if I would be a good support system for him or was perhaps going to critique me on my ability to listen instead of talk on our date or something. But alas. Obviously. Not the case.

Well I like to take charge...in a firm but pleasing way.


Okay so he had me at take charge and if it had been anything else would have lost me at the firm but pleasing way ugh. gag. cheesy (but I could overlook it).

The conversation carries on. Blah blah blah. This that this that. Says the right things. Yada yada yada. Nice he says I think we're on the same wavelength. Indeed I say but it's getting late and I should probably get some sleep. Tomorrow being Christmas Eve Day and all. Goodnight he says and talk soon :)


But the thing is, we never ended up talking soon. In fact, I never heard from him again.


Now I can't say I'm super upset, mostly I'm just peeved the same way a child is when you tell them they can't have a toy even though they likely forget what it is they wanted within an hour. Mostly, I was just upset that somebody wasn't fucking falling-off-chairs-writing-love-poems-masterbating-non-stop-to-thoughts-of-me-swooning over me.  


The truth of the matter is, with ThePhD, I had wanted things to continue almost just for the sake of continuing. Or, I guess, I had this hope that maybe he'd just been a bit sloppy and handsy on our first date and just a bit corny in our sexting and I was holding out this (now obviously bizarre) hope that he'd be better and more awesome if we went out again. But the truth is that I wasn't very attracted to him, which made his advances and innuendo kind of creepy, and if it hadn't been for the raging intelligence he never would've stood a chance.


Which isn't to say I played no role in my own disappointment. In all honestly, I was cocky. I assumed he'd thought I was awesome, and maybe he did. Maybe he'd just lost interest because I didn't get frisky on the first date, or maybe he sensed my lack of lust for him, or maybe after-date sexting was a test that I'd failed, or maybe he has a girlfriend, or maybe he's gay or maybe he's dead. Who the fuck knows?!


But hey, you win some you lose some and sometimes it really is just as simple as that. He was a dick, and I got cocky. Nobody made contact and nobody put in any effort and it all just went away.  




*originally published 06/01/2011

 

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