Vancouver Dating Blog: Getting Rid of First Date Jitters
Within two days of being back on plenty of fish after a brief hiatus, Trucker Joe had messaged me. He thought my profile was funny, and had a lot to say (which was nice not to have to hand-hold someone else through a conversation). He seemed manly, and happy, and enthusiastic, with nice teeth. And he was tall.
The downside was that he only had 2 photos up on his profile (1 showed 3/4 of his face, and 1 was him on a dirt bike). After the date I'd had with TEDski, I'd admittedly been burned by pictures before (and scarred by the dates I ended up going on).
In all honesty, I was scared to trust his photos and agree to go on a date with Trucker Joe. As I'd previously learned, men were terrible when it came to dating profile pics.
Barbie looked worse than his pics.
Garbage man looked much better than his pics.
TEDski looked much worse than his pics.
Intelligence Officer looked much better than his pics.
Twitter Guy looked better than his worst pics but worse than his best pic.
So with that being said, in terms of my attraction to a man's dating profile pictures, there are 3 categories:
The "absolutely nots you're just not for me" which seems pretty self-explanatory and likely means I delete their message right away (if they've said something brilliant or witty in their first message all bets are off of course but assuming they message to say "hey" and not much else, if there's no attraction it's straight to the bin for them.
The "maybes" who seem like there could be potential attraction especially pending some more photos and/or in person. Maybes qualify for dates assuming their personalities don't suck.
The "absolutely babes" who are smoking hot (to me) but of course still have the potential to majorly disappoint and be a complete waste of time (aka: Barbie).
Trucker Joe was a "maybe" right from the start. Add to that the fact that so far I liked his personality, and I was ready to go on a first date. Having had the few dates that I'd had over the summer and during the year, I'd learned how misleading photos can be and thus preferred to meet sooner rather than later to avoid any wasted time. But that doesn't mean that my date with TEDski hadn't left a bad taste in my mouth and a jittery fear in my heart.
When Trucker Joe asked if I was a Starbucks or Timmy Ho's girl? I said that I was a Starbucks girl but due to being a student I'm often a Folgers hazelnut at home girl. He said that he'd love to buy me a Starbucks as I'm not on a student budget. Phone numbers were exchanged and a date was set.
The night of our date, I was feeling frozen by first date jitters. The date with TEDski had done more than just leave a bad taste in my mouth, it left me generalizing and full of trepidation. I couldn't help but wonder if dating older men was not for me. I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't a good idea to date men who'd led completely different lives than me, who had very different levels of education, who had very different careers than my own. The truth is, I was entirely concerned with the men I was dating being a letdown but suffered no such insecurities about myself (after all, I knew what I was bringing to the table).
So, at 3pm, while driving to my coffee date with Trucker Joe, I couldn't keep my mind from racing
Would he look like his photos?
What would he wear? Would he be in Dad jeans or something equally awful and old and awful?
Would his sense of humor be like Tedski's?
Would he be a total loser?
Would he be inappropriate or weird?
Just as I pulled up my friend called to give a quick pep talk and that was it, I headed inside--what's the worst that could happen right?
But before I could even get across the parking lot, I could feel someone watching me. It was super sunny and I had my shades on, and that's when I hear it--Trucker Joe calling out to me. I turn to look towards the voice and there he is getting out of possibly the sexiest black pickup truck I've ever seen.
Though I date men and not their cars, I do think a vehicle says a lot about a person (at least about their life if not their personality). The Volvo I drive says: my dad gave me this car, sure, but it also speaks to my uber-safety rule following ways. Mega Love used to drive a (suped up) Jetta and then later an Electric car (his vibe being always the newest and coolest gadgets). Garbage Man drove a Honda Civic. Intelligence Officer drove some kind of sporty yellow pickup truck and Twitter Guy drove a station wagon.
So Trucker Joe walks over to me and to my huge relief he's much hotter than his photos and looks younger (than his photos, not me). Honestly, he's kind of a babe. And he's dressed like someone my age, no corniness at all. He looks like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch commercial. But enough about the superficial. Did I mention he's tall?! His profile says 6'0 but honestly he seemed taller because I had to go on my tippy toes to get my head above his shoulder for our hug (which at 5'7 says something).
We go inside and he holds the door open for me, followed by ordering our drinks and then grabbing a table outside. For the next two hours, conversation flows easily, the sun lowers, we laugh and talk about interesting things and revealing things and while I may have initially been so nervous that I said "white wok" instead of "white rock", outside of that it was pretty fucking flawless. In fact, somewhere around the 3/4 point of our date, he mentioned that he'd like to see me again.
After our date, he walks me to my car and we hug again (rare for a date not to end in a kiss but honestly I'm here for it). He opens my car door and waits will I get in. It's all very cute and chivalrous.
When I got home later that night, I already had a message from him: Had a great time meeting you tonight. Can't wait to do it again.
And like, me too Trucker Joe. Me too!
*originally posted 15/07/2010