Vancouver Dating Blog: A Third Date With Trucker Joe
Perhaps Trucker Joe was just giving me exactly what I wanted. Maybe this was all just a "be careful what you ask for" type situation. After all, hadn't I spent months asking the universe to send me a man that wanted to go on fun dates, like doing actual fun things out in public in the company of each other? And hadn't I spent months asking that same universe why it was that men kept trying to get sexual with me in public? And here was Trucker Joe just giving me exactly what I wanted, even though maybe after two lovely dates, neither of which ended in kisses, I was starting to wonder if what I wanted had changed.
The night of our third date, we meet up (again in a park and ride). I hop into his big black truck and we're off again, this time to a driving range. And it's hot (the temperature I mean). It's so fucking hot and humid that I swear my shins are sweating and by swear, I mean, I look down at my shins and they are indeed fucking sweating. Sure, it's probably a humidity thing but it feels like they're sweating.
Not to worry though, I'm sure I'll stop sweating just as soon as we...start doing a physical activity in the middle of goddamn heatwave. The good news is that he's sweating too so at least I'm not alone in this embarrassment. Things quickly progress (because I'm not actually that good at golf and the cinema of our youth taught us that what you absolutely have to do on a date with a sport type activity is have the man show the woman how to do it and so he does and it's cute).
After awhile he suggests we go for a coffee (and for anyone new here who isn't aware, I haven't had a drink in 2 years and 8 months now so coffee is all we've got). We go to a coffee shop and when the bill comes up, I make no effort to grab the check because if I'm being honest-- at $45 for a pedi, cost of makeup, hair products, perfume, shaving, waxing, special underoos, expensive lip gloss, and the fact that I'm much more likely to end up sucking his dick before he licks my pussy and honestly I think I deserve a couple paid-for coffees for this shit.
After our coffees, and long after Starbucks closes (they let us sit on the patio because I guess in White Rock no one steals patio furniture) we head back to my car and that's when...
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Nope...Still wait for it.
Shut The Fuck Up?!!?! I hear you say. And I know what you're thinking because I was there, in that moment, thinking the exact same thing like do it! fucking do it! kiss him already! lean in and kiss him already what the fuck are ya'll waiting for. Do. Something. DO. Something. Do SOMETHING!
But alas, I'm a goddamn scaredy cat baby I guess. I had once thought I was a confident pro, a mack daddy if you will, but turns out maybe it was just the alcohol because now that I'm sober and on a third date where no kissing has happened, I just can't bring myself to lean in and kiss. So, after all that, I get in my car and drive home.
Once home, I find myself unable to just let the date go--I'm not sure I've ever been so confused by someone in my life. I'm split between thinking that maybe he's just being a gentleman and I'm reminded of that Sex and The City episode Are We Sluts? where Aiden doesn't want to have sex with Carrie so early on in their relationship. But then I think that absolutely cannot be it, I mean we've been on 3 dates now and not even a fucking little smoochy kiss?! No way, there's GOT to be something else going on.
Me: U still up?
Him: Yup I am...what's up?
Me: I probably should've said something earlier tonight but well lol I'm shy but I have to ask. are you attracted to me?
Him: Ya I am...why are you asking?
Me: Um...well (lol now I feel stupid) I guess just cause...um...u haven't made any moves...not that there's anything wrong with that but also when we first met u kinda also talked about looking for friends so I guess I was just a bit uncertain
Him: It's not that I don't want to...I just like you a lot (probably too much lol) but I just don't have committment in me right now and if things were to happen you might end up not liking me.
For a little extra context here: on our first date, he'd asked me if I needed exclusivity in someone I was dating. I answered, "no," because of course I didn't. I mean, I didn't need him to tell me all about all his other dates and women but just as I was open to dating other people I would expect that he probably was too. He then told me about the woman he'd dated right before me and immediately after his divorce from a 10 year marriage (that was a nightmare). Apparently, the woman before me had wanted to get married and have babies right away and after dating for two months he called it quits. She didn't take the rejection well and was like "well you shouldn't have slept with me then blah blah blah" which is like a bit of a wild attitude but there ya go. So on the one hand I could understand how he was a bit gun-shy but honestly if he couldn't see huge, I mean absolutely fucking major, differences between me and that woman, like what were we even doing here?!
Him: U still talking to me???
Me: lol sorry - world's slowest texter here.
Me: Hmm so is it just a case of you not wanting me to get hurt and/or get pissed and stop talking to you?
Him: I don't want either of those to happen
Me: Well neither thing is likely to happen because
a. I'm a grown up and can look out for myself
b. my heart is not aiming at committment
c. I know where you are committment wise
d. I'm awesome!
Him: You ARE awesome! lol And believe me there are things I would like to do to you I mean with you :)
And that's where I'm going to be stop the exact transcript of our texting because it gets a little more grown up (well not that grown up but considering we haven't even held hands it was grown up for us lol). Before we end our night of texting though, he asks me over for dinner for Tuesday night (because we both have plans for the long weekend). Sure, it sucks that it's a whole week away, but he'll cook me dinner, I'll get to see his place, he's CLEARLY putting in effort, and for the love of god we'll have some private, inside a house not out in public, alone time. I said yes, and honestly I couldn't be more excited.