• Victoria Nachos

TheNickName: From Plenty of Fish to a Great 1st Date

He messaged me first on plenty of fish. It wasn't anything wild or particularly amazing but it showed that he'd read my dating profile and had commented on it, which if we're being honest sounds like a bare minimum but was more rare than you'd expect. He was nice, and not in that creepy-overly-complimenty-type way but just genuinely interested and nice.

Name:  TheNickName

Age:  38

Height:  6'0

Profession:  Sales

Status:  Divorced

The conversation between us flowed easily. He asked about what I liked to do for fun, and I asked him what were three things he thought funny. He told me about where he grew up and I did the same. I asked him to describe his best friend and how they knew each other. He asked about school and all the things that take up my time.

And that's when he did this thing which was most certainly "a move" but even my awareness of that fact couldn't distract from me thinking it was brilliant. Men so often ask too early or too late to take things offline but he did it flawlessly and in the cutest possible way:

I seem to only be on here to read your messages so why don't you call or text me when you want to say hi.

Bravo. In one fell swoop he managed to make me feel special, indicate he liked me thus far, and requested to take the conversation offline. And so I texted him and it was nice--cute--good--though not particularly thrilling, and so I immediately began to get a little worried. Would he be incredibly corny and unfunny like TEDski?

And then he did something I found so funny I almost peed my pants. He inadvertently created his own pseudonym for the blog (of course, he didn't know about the blog or what he was doing but that hardly seemed to matter). TheNickName was born.

The gist of it is that I have this friend who has an Aunt whom everyone calls TheCath (her name is Cathy), which I think is adorable and funny enough on its own but after hearing this for the first time, I did the same thing with my friends name. Again, fun but nothing too hilarious. So when the new "something" sent me a text message in which he called himself TheKev, I fell off my chair laughing. He was joking of course but I was like, oh no this name is sticking, it's stuck--and thus TheNickName was born.

And I'll be honest though, that's mostly why, even though some of his texts were very hit or miss, when he suggested we chat on the phone, I was like okay sure because it all seemed too perfect (too iconic, too hilarious, too absolutely blog worthy), even though I generally hate doing that (having big chats before meeting) because I think it gives a false sense of knowing a person (see: TEDski).

Another reason I agree for the pre-date chit chat was because I was in the process of writing 3 HUGE term papers and in my last 2 weeks of the semester. He understood and was willing to wait it out to meet me but it would've been weird to just text for the next two weeks without any progression.

So he called and I answered and we talked. It was an eye-opening experience because he asked so many questions and not just regular get to know you type questions but questions about my work--my papers (my papers about English Literature). He asked questions about papers that no one not in the field could have any interest in. Hell, I was barely interest in. I'd be telling him about a paper and then feel bad that I was both monopolizing the conversation and boring him to tears and stop talking but then he'd swoop in and ask to hear more about The Outsiders, ask about the research, tell me that he read it as a boy, basically just showing interest. And even if he wasn't really interested and was just faking it my god he faked it like a pro. Or, at the very least, someone who thought I was awesome.

And it absolutely worked because in turn I now thought he was awesome (or well, as awesome as you can think someone is without really knowing them). Plus even if the phonecall itself hadn't won me over the text message following it certainly did.

You're so smart! 

Winner winner chicken dinner. The truth is, while I want men to think I'm hot and sexy and whatever, the real compliment is recognizing my intelligence.

Two weeks went by and school was coming to a close, so I hit TheNickName up to let him know that I was ready to make plans.

When do you want to hang out?

ASAP he texts.

The day of our date he texted to confirm (something I thoroughly appreciate in this world of flakes). He even added that he'd probably get there a bit early and get us a table, which I liked even more than his confirming of the date. And just like he said, when I walked into the sports bar, there he was. He'd gotten us a table, set it all up, and was just chilling, relaxed as fuck (which in turn relaxed me). He asked what I wanted to drink to which I responded Diet Coke (obviously) and he went to get it and himself a beer (the only one he had that evening which seemed just about perfect). We play pool and he's pretty good, I'm okay (but he lets me cheat which I find cute)--it's all very adorable.

We talk a lot about travel, of which I've done a fair amount and he's done very little. We talk about sports (playing and watching) and then there's talk of my future (grad schools, where to go and what to study, etc.) basically there's never a lull in the conversation and I'm enjoying myself (and he seems to be as well).

After a couple rounds of pool, he wants to order some food. I'm not really hungry (and by this I mean I'm absolutely fucking starving as I've barely eaten all day partly as I want to be looking as svelte as possible and partly from nerves and excitement). The truth is I'm weird and I'm chubby and I've got issues eating in front of a guy on a first date, not to mention that everything on the menu looks like a date ruiner (chicken wings, spinach dip, garlic this and garlic that). We get the dip and are chatting and eating and eating and chatting and then the bill comes and before the waitress can even put it down he's taking care of it (which oooh ya'll know I love!).

The date comes it's natural close, which is normally when I'd be hoping to invited back to someone's place but after the fiasco that was "Lindsay's Law" I no longer do that. There will be no apartments for an apres ski; no condos for a cocktail, no mansions for a movie, no houses for a heart to heart--no second location!

So we're putting on our coats, and getting ready to leave, when he says those magical words (that are only magical if you've had a great first date)--he asks about a second date.

I had a really great time and I don't know about your schedule but I'd love to go out again, say Thursday night?

And just like that, we have a second date booked. He walks me to my car, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and I'm off.

On the way home, I get a text:

Had a really great time.

Me too, TheNickName, me too.

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So here I am, with online guy after online guy, giving out second chances because maybe they're just nervous about online dating or, maybe he's just busy with work and, everybody is a flake now and ag