• Victoria Nachos

How To Write A Great Dating Profile

A great dating profile changes over time. Back in 2010, I was all about showcasing my quirky sense of humour while still trying to convey actual things about me to help other daters know who I am. Back in 2010, I was really only just dating on plenty of fish and okcupid both of which had almost no limit on word count since they were purely website based. See my profile below:


Raspberry Jam  **  the Ability to Walk and Chew Gum at the Same Time  **  Astronomy

a Mexican Song About Housecoats and the Consonants F and H  **  Road Trips  **

Making Out Under Bleachers  **  the Antiquated Term for a Sexual Attraction to Physicists

**  the Proper Response to the Question “where is the baby?”  **  Chuck Norris Facts  **

Friday Night Lights  **  Wit and Sarcasm  **  Big Bang Theory  **  Mind Trap Trivia  **

Magic 8 Balls  **  The Nationalistic High-Five Between Two People of Ukrainian Descent 

**  Dos Equis Men  **  Things that Rhyme with Lasagna  **  Drinks with Cherries in Them

Vegas in General  **  Vegas Specifically  **  Atheism  **  Perogies  **  Red Toe Nails  **

Dance Moves Involving 8 Consecutive Steps & Ending in Jazz Hands **  My Get Ready Shirt

**  Repetition  **  Repetition  **  Reasons I Would Never Trade You My Jell-O Pudding Cup

**  Reading  ** Writing  **  Making Lists  **  Making Lists of Lists **  Pitching No Hitters

Dusk  **  Inside Jokes  **  Driving on Highways  **  Board Games  **  Shirley Temples  **

About Me:

1. I have magical skills and an extensive knowledge of medical textbooks.

2. With an elastic band, a piece of gum and a thesaurus, I'm pretty sure I can make a party dress.

3. I once stopped global warming by thinking really really hard about icicles, but then I went tanning and it all fell apart. Sorry.

4. I hold actual medals for my charade skills though I'm a complete novice at strip poker.

5. My favorite game is Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

6. I'm pretty sure I'm Russian Royalty (based mainly on my ability to submerge in icy cold waters for lengthy periods of time).

7. I've been known to wear a light on my ass while camping lest I get lost in the forest.

8. I can be found in Wikipedia under "awesome" synonym "rad"

9. After getting a speeding ticket, I once cried unicorn tears and the ticket tore itself up

10. I like to spend my days pondering why melted butter tastes better than solid butter? and why the doors to squash courts are so ridiculously short?

11. I'm ALWAYS with the DJ

12. Santa is well aware I want a Zack Morris cell phone but he's punishing me because I ate his cookies back in '96 (and '87, '92, '99, and 2004)

13. Every time I smile an angel gets her wings, and by angel I mean stripper and by wings I mean hundreds

14. Riddle me this...if I get on a train in Venice at 6pm and you get on a plane in New York at 10am, what continent does Russia belong to?

15. I once ate ketchup as a meal

16. The words swab, gauze and panty really gross me out though I’m a huge fan of lozenge and racoon (which I pronounce RAH!-coon not raa-coon)

17. I used to think those Axe commercials were all fake marketing, I now know different

18. I can say "Chubby Bunny" 10 times with 12 marshmallows in my mouth

First Date:

Painting our faces and going to a game   or   Just getting some starbucks and pointing out constellations to each other (I call Orion and Mars!)

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