• Victoria Nachos

Death By Plague: The Garbage Man's Demise

*Originally Published 28/02/2010*

I had a friend once who dated this guy several times. Things were going great, they really connected, they had great sex, things were off without a hitch and then one day he tells her he's going over to the Island (Victoria, BC). Days go by, followed by weeks and eventually she tells the story of the man who fell overboard, "drowned at sea" if you will.

When I tell my story of the Garbage Man, I will attribute the demise of our ill-fated romance to his death by Plague. You didn't know the plague still exists in these modern times? Shocking I know, but alas there can be no other explanation.  Um...hello!?!?! I'm Hottie McHotterson -betta recognize!  For real though, it's been almost three weeks since our first date.  If I can get past my six year relationship with relationshippy with some counselling, closure sex but more importantly 3 months without regular long does this guy think it'll take me to get over a first date?  Boy please!  And yes, I know what you're thinking, give the dude a break, he might actually be sick.  Yes, this is true but I'm an insensitive bitch who wants what I want when I want it (though I keep these tidbits of crazy hidden from him).  Veruca Salt taught me what's up!  That and I'm not the hugest fan of putting myself out there...nobody puts baby in the corner...nobody makes SSD look a fool!

Seriously though...I'm super pissed Garbage Man hasn't called to say he's better and to make plans and also pretty convinced that our first date is the last time I'll see him since his death by the plague (the picture of him on the stand at the funeral won't count and I'm hoping for closed casket).

*Dating Vancouver a Better Place, One Something at a Time*


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