Death By Plague: Garbage Man's Demise
A friend once told me this dating story about how she had dated this guy several times, I mean, things were going great, they really connected, they had great sex, things were off without a hitch, and then one day he tells her he's going over to the island (Victoria, BC). Days go by, weeks go by, and eventually (which is now) she tells the story of the man who fell overboard, "drowned at sea," if you will because honestly there's just no other explanation.
When I tell my story of the Garbage Man, I will attribute the demise of our ill-fated romance to his death by plague (ghosting isn't yet a term people use in 2010 but by god it would've come in handy). You didn't know the plague still exists in these modern times? Shocking I know, but alas there can be no other explanation. Um...hello!?!?! I'm Hottie McHotterson (you better recognize!)
For real though, it's been almost three weeks since our first date. If I can get past my six year relationship with Mega Love with some counselling, closure sex, and more importantly 3 months without regular contact, how long does this guy think it'll take me to get over a first date? Boy please! And yes, I know what you're thinking, give the dude a break, he might actually be sick. Yes, this is true but I'm an insensitive bitch who wants what I want when I want it (though I keep these tidbits of crazy hidden from him). Veruca Salt taught me what's up! That and I'm not the hugest fan of putting myself out there...nobody puts baby in the corner...nobody makes Victoria Nachos look a fool!
Seriously though...I'm super pissed Garbage Man hasn't called to say he's better and to make plans and also pretty convinced that our first date is the last time I'll see him since his death by the plague (the picture of him on the stand at the funeral won't count and I'm hoping for closed casket).