A Christmas Miracle: TheNickName Gets a Second Date

One of the most important factors in dating is attraction. I've always felt that I have some control over my attraction to others. Or, if I wasn't in control of it entirely, I could definitely nudge it one way or the other depending on my feelings for the entire person (a good personality could encourage attraction, a shitty one nearly eliminating it, etc.). It is this malleability that I think allows me, at least initially, to be attracted to a wide range and high percentage of men. And then their personal attributes affect my attraction not to mention their actions.

And that was exactly what was happening with TheNickName. Every time a a date was scheduled, my excitement for fun fed my attraction for him; every time a date was cancelled, my desire for him was lessened and my interest waylaid. The truth is that after multiple cancelling (albeit for seemingly legitimate reasons) my interest in dating (even casually) TheNickName was dashed.

However, my attraction bizarrely remained. By all logic, there shouldn't have been much attraction to begin with. Not to sound harsh, but he was an entirely average man. He was a little taller than me, had a grown-up job (yay!) but also grown-up responsibilities (meh), he was a nice guy with a sexy phone voice and we'd had one good date. That was it. Nothing to write home (or on the blog) about I guess but while my door to dating had shut, there was still a nagging attraction to keep one last door open for him, at least an inch.

The day my exams ended, TheNickName remembered and texted:

Yay, school is over for two weeks. How'd Shakespeare go? Enjoy your time off!!!

I responded:

Hit it outta the park.  How are things with you?

And so he replied:

That's awesome for you! Atta girl!  Things are good, just stupid busy during this time of the year with work and Xmas functions.  Talk soon!

The entire exchange seemed needless, which is exactly why I felt no need to respond further. He'd asked no questions in his final text so not responding didn't seem impolite. I wasn't made or anthing, I just wasn't particularly interested (and I couldn't figure out for the life of me what the point in texting me at all was but there ya go). If he wanted anything further, he'd have to be making the moves because I'd already put in more effort than my pride would allow.

And then the very next day he didn't, or he didn't--effort is so confusing that way.

Did you xmas shop after you finished all of yours exams etc.? 

But I didn't respond because I was busy (first at a party and then out for drinks with the girls). Plus, if I did have time to text anybody, it would've been to text ThePhD back (as he'd been texting sweet nothings all day in anticipation of our first date).

The next morning I woke up (lol who am I kidding, I was on my Christmas break so I absolutely woke up i the afternoon), and responded to his text:

I've done absolute none of my shopping! lol what about you? All ready for Christmas? A friend is coming over tonight to wrap all of my presents and then yah I'm done! he quickly responded.  

Fun I said wrapping presents is my favorite thing to do! And then I added, Well maybe my second favorite thing. What's your favorite? he asks. And it's sort of off to the races from there. He tells me he's had lots of thoughts about me.

I balls to the wall say, I wonder if it'll happen with us. A second date not a future.

I hope so he says Your sched. was crazy busy and mine got there when we got closer to xmas.  Next week is pretty wide open...Wanna get together on the 29th?  Dinner at my place? Sure I text.  Sounds good.

The texting might have ended there but instead they took a decidedly sexy turn, which if I'm being honest was just okay. In all honesty, I'd yet to find a man aside from Intelligence Officer who was that good at sexting (or who at least had a rhythm that worked with mine). At some point he asks for a picture, which feels wild now looking back that it bothered me so, but at the time I was an anonymous blogger hoping to become a Professor and the idea of my nudes being out there for anyone to see was absolutely ridiculous. Like, I actually judged him for even asking lol my how times have changed.

That said, after I told him it wouldn't happen, he said:

No worries, I will look at your pics on POF :)

I told him perfect and then said I had to go (because I had to get ready for my first date with ThePhD) and he texted one last message:

I want you !!  Have fun tonight!!  And then the next day he texted again:

I thought about you lots today and our text messages from yesterday!  We texted on and off all day long, it was Christmas Eve Day and for the first time in my entire life I would be spending most of my holiday alone (my parents were travelling in Australia). I was all snuggled in bed after having a lovely Xmas eve full of decorating and chinese-food-eating. All was well. And then TheNickName called. I can't remember everything we talked about but I do remember at one point that he said that obviously we were cool with each other, that I was an awesome chick and that we were grownups, and that if I wanted to talk to him I should call--there wasn't a reason for games. It's not like I'm the only busy one, he said. And he didn't want to be harassing me to hang out either. We made a plan for a date on Wednesday but since neither of us was that keen to wait 5 days for our date, we made plans to hang out, at least for a coffee or a walk, anything, the next day, Christmas Day.

On Christmas day, time gets away from me, and I end up having an amazing Christmas Day dinner with my brother, his girlfriend, and her extended family. TheNickName and I decide to have an after dinner Christmas Movie date.

When it was time to leave the family thing, my brother enlightened everyone that I had the audacity to DOUBLE BOOK them and on Christmas no less! But I mean hey! a girl's only got some much time off from school over Xmas break, amirite?!? We all had a wonderful laugh, such a good night!

After arriving at the address, TheNickName had given me, I read my instructions from him to go through the gate off the alley and use the door at the back. Now, I'm not a total idiot, but I am nervous and I've never been to his place before and let me just ask you, if someone said use the door at the back and you were around back and saw a door, you probably wouldn't think to check for another one would you? WOULD YOU!? No, you wouldn't. Because like how many fucking doors can one house have?!?!?!  Apparently at least 3. But in my defense, there was also a blinding spotlight and the door was FUCKING OPEN!

So there I am, walking up the garden path straight for the open door when suddenly a dude appears. But it's not my dude. And even more awkward, I cannot for the life of me remember TheNickName's real name so I just stand there making some kind of stuttering um..uh...is this...um...uh...is he...um...uh noise until the dude saves me and says are you looking for TheNickName? I stammer a quick yes and he responds, Down and around.

I'm relieved and then BAM! there's TheNickName standing there having seen and heard the whole thing from the OTHER fucking door in the back. Stupid fucking tons of doors!

Inside, he shows me around the place which honestly is a bit more shabby than chic which is fine or whatever but I definitely expected someone his age who works in sales and seems successful to have a better place. But ya know, people in glass houses owned by their parents or whatever.

He sneaks in a quick peck in the kitchen, our first kiss:

Just had to get that out of the way.

Not the smoothest but I like that he had been thinking about it, had been worried about it.

We watch a movie that turns out to be about wall street and is either a terribly slow and boring movie or I'm just tired from all that Christmas deliciousness (both equal possibilities). I can hardly keep my eyes open for the movie but then soon we're kissing like teenagers on the couch which definitely wakes me up. He's not the best kisser, at first, but he's good at adapting and learns quickly how I move and what I like. Things progress to the bedroom soon enough (but not so soon that it turns me off), plus I know we won't be fucking (because I don't want to, and also because I didn't shave my legs or wear sexy panties). My shirt comes off within seconds (from him taking it off, I'm not just like the queen of self-esteem, yet) and while I don't want to fuck, I have no problem with a little lick and before long I realize that he's never listened to my favorite lil kim song:

"Smack my ass, grab my hair, 

got 'em cummin' everywhere

I'ma freak, so I don't care, 

just don't get none in my hair"

*originally published 07/01/2011